The Author must be crazy
by Girl-fascinated-by-voices
Summary: Erik, Christine, and Raoul watching Pinky and the Brain? What is the Author on?
1. The beginning

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except me

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except me.

Author's note: This is a sort of prequel to my "Super Raoul" story. It explains why Erik and Christine were engaged in my other story. It will also reveal how the Author got the idea for Carlotta to be Raoul's new girlfriend. But since that creates a continuity error because Raoul doesn't know who the Author is in the other story, I'll have to think up an explanation for it. (thinks) Okay got it, the Author erased their memories of her. Now, without further ado, the story. 

(Author is sitting in her room; bored. Suddenly an evil grin forms on her face and she picks up her copy of The Phantom of the Opera; she reaches inside, pulling out three people: Erik, Christine, and Raoul.)

Author: Welcome to my world.

Erik: What are we doing here?

Author: I was bored.

Christine: So you just decided to mess with our lives?

Author: Yep. Hey Erik? (grins)

Erik: (nervously) What?

Author: Marry me?

(Erik backs away from Author)

Christine: How dare you! You evil woman, how dare you!

Author: (annoyed) Shut up! (calms down when Christine obeys) Now you're probably wondering why you're all here?

Erik: No.

Christine: I am rather curious.

Author: The reason I've brought you here is... (suddenly notices Raoul, who is wearing a bra on his head for earmuffs) Give me that! (quickly snatches the bra away and puts it back in her dresser)

Raoul: My ears are cold!

Author: Deal with it!

Raoul: (whining) I ca-an't! I don't like cold ea-ars!

Author: You'll like it this time! Now as I was saying; I've brought you here because I'm bored and I want you to watch TV with me. Any questions? 

Christine: (hesitantly raising her hand) What was that thing on Raoul's head?

Author: Never mind that. Any other questions?

Erik: What's a TV?

Author: This thing. (points to her TV set)

Erik: And you want us to watch it?

Author: Yes.

Erik: But... it's just sitting there.

Author: Behold! (turns on TV)

Raoul: (horrified) There are tiny people trapped in there!

Author: Calm down, they're not trapped.

Raoul: They're not?

Author: No, they... live there.

Raoul: Ohhhh.

Author: Anyway, we're going to watch cartoons. (begins flipping channels finally stopping on Pinky and the Brain)

Raoul: (excited) Look, mice!

Christine: (jumps onto a chair) Where?

Raoul: On the TP!

Author: (laughs) There aren't any mice on the toilet paper!

Raoul: Huh?

Author: Forget it. Everyone have a seat.

(Christine immediately takes the chair. The only other seat is the bed. Erik is at the foot of the bed, the Author is stretched out with her feet at the head of the bed. That leaves Raoul to sit in the floor.)

Author: Cool! Erik is on my bed!

(Erik is frightened)

Mysterious Announcer Person: So, what will happen to the three prisoners of the Author? Read the next chapter and find out, silly! 


	2. The middle and the somewhat romantic end...

Author's note: Pinky and Brain appear in this chapter, I don't own them either

Author's note: Pinky and Brain appear in this chapter, I don't own them either. 

Mysterious Announcer Person: When we left the Author's room, she had pulled Erik Christine and some other guy whose name I can't remember... what? (listens to a whispering voice) Oh yes, Erik, Christine, and Ragoo out of her book and forced them to watch cartoons with her. Let's rejoin them and see what's happening ten minutes later...

(Author, Erik, Christine and Raoul are intently watching Pinky and the Brain. Erik is quietly singing the theme song to himself.)

Erik: They're Pinky and the Brain... (still singing) I forgot the words, la la la de da dum de da de da dum...

Raoul: Narf! (giggles)

Christine: Oh dear, this cartoon thing has turned Raoul into a mindless idiot!

Author: (to herself) What do you mean, turned him into?

Christine: (not quite hearing) Pardon?

Author: (innocently) Nothing.

(Christine shrugs and turns back to the TV. Everything is relatively peaceful until suddenly... the Britney Spears Pepsi commercial!)

Christine: (appalled) Why is she taking her clothes off?!

Author: I've often wondered about that.

Raoul: (drooling) She has such a beautiful... (notices Christine glaring at him) uh...voice. Yes that's it, she has a beautiful voice!

Christine: Raoul! (slaps him)

Erik: Make it stop! Make it stop! (tries to punjab the TV)

Author: (quickly mutes the TV) Look away!! Otherwise you'll be scarred for life!

Erik: (closing his eyes) What was that horrid sound?

Author: Pop music

Erik: Music?

Author: That's what they call it.

Erik: People actually dare to call that music?!

Author: Yep.

Erik: Why?

Author: Look at Raoul.

(Erik turns to see Raoul, who is clearly mesmerized by the nearly topless girl on TV.)

Erik: Well, that explains a lot.

Author: Yeah. Okay quiet everyone, the show's back on. (unmutes TV)

Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky: I think so Brain; but if they called them sad meals, kids wouldn't buy them.

(Author cracks up. Everyone else is confused.)

Pinky: Zort!

Raoul: Zort! (laughs) Zortzortzortzortzortzortzortzort!

Erik: (clenching his fists) I'm going to kill him!

Author: No! You'll get blood on the carpet. Better take him outside first.

Christine: (crying) Please don't kill Raoul! Please Erik, don't kill him! He isn't going to distract me from my singing! 

Author: Oh, not this again! Christine, Erik's not going to kill Raoul because he's a distraction. Are you?

Erik: (grins) No.

Christine: (sniffling) He's not?

Author: No, he's going to kill him out of annoyance.

(Erik laughs and Christine starts bawling all over again.)

Author: Calm down. I won't let Raoul die. (gags slightly)

Christine: Promise?

Author: I promise.

Erik: You're no fun. (pouts)

Author: (quietly) You can kill him later. I just said that to shut her up.

Erik: Cool! (embarrassed) I did not just say that.

Author: Aww, You're so cute when you get embarrassed! 

Christine: You stay away from him, you... you tramp!

Author: Hey, you can't have 'em both.

Christine: But he's _my_ teacher.

Author: And he wants to be your boyfriend.

Christine: My what?

Author: He's in love with you.

Christine: He is?

Author: Duh! (realizes she's said to much) Sorry Erik.

Erik: (shrugs) She would've found out eventually.

Christine: So that's why you don't want me to see Raoul.

Erik: (stares at the floor) Yes.

(Christine kisses him. Author starts to get teary-eyed and shoves Raoul back into the book before he can interrupt.)

Author: Oh my gosh! I've just changed the entire book! (starts doing a little happy dance.)

(Erik and Christine stare at her. Author doesn't notice.)

Author: And I'll bet the musical will be different! (looks at the lyrics that came with her cd's) Yes! Haha! Andrew Lloyd Webber is controlled by me! Me! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!(notices her audience) Ahem... Shouldn't you go back into the book now? 

Christine: Yes, I think we should.

Author: (opens book) Okay, bye-bye.

Erik & Christine: Good-bye. (they step back into the book)

Author: Hmmm, maybe I should give Raoul a girlfriend. Maybe he should hook up with Meg... Nah! Maybe it should be... (starts to write as an evil grin appears on her face) 


End file.
